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Etiquette4 min read

Japanese etiquette phrases: the one pattern that gets you forgiven at shrines, temples and onsen

ReviewAnswered out loud

At a temple · say it in Japanese

Ask the attendant whether you may go inside.

You said

Understandable

Correct Japanese? Yes

Sounds natural? Not quite

大丈夫ですか asks whether it's safe or OK. Asking permission is 〜てもいいですか.

More natural

AgainHardGoodEasy

Kiko suggests a grade and brings the natural version back until it's the one you say.

Right, but not natural — the gap no textbook marks. Kiko catches it on every card you say out loud.

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Most etiquette slips in Japan are forgiven the moment you ask first. (may I…?) covers photos, going inside and sitting down, and (sorry, I didn't know) covers the rest. Below: shrines and temples, onsen, and how to recover gracefully.

Updated · 14 phrases, each with its reading and JLPT level

What you'll learn

  • The 〜てもいいですか pattern, and how to ask anything with it
  • How to pray at a shrine, and why not to clap at a temple
  • Onsen rules, and asking about tattoos
  • What to say when you get it wrong

Asking permission

One pattern does most of the work: the te-form of a verb plus . 撮る becomes , may I take a photo; 入る becomes , may I go in. Learn the pattern once and you can ask about anything.

Watch the difference between (may I take one?) and (could you take one of us?). One asks permission; the other asks a favour.

Spot the mistake

3 slips almost everyone makes here. Can you catch them before Kiko does?

This is how a practice conversation in Kiko goes. Each learner line below has one mistake in it — the kind you won't hear yourself make. Tap the part you'd fix, and watch how Kiko marks it without stopping the conversation.

At a shrineKiko plays the shrine attendant

1 / 3

Hello. Is this your first time visiting a shrine?

Learner

Meant: Yes. Excuse me — may I take photos?

Something's off. Tap the part you'd fix.

May I…?

Asking first is always welcome, even when the answer is obvious to locals.

  • JLPT N5

    May I take a photo?

    Always ask inside temples, shops and at festivals.

  • JLPT N4

    Could you take a photo of us?

    撮ってもいい = I take it; 撮ってもらえる = you take it.

  • JLPT N4

    May I go inside?

    Ropes across an entrance mean no, even without a sign.

  • JLPT N5

    May I sit here?

    In tatami rooms, kneel or sit cross-legged — never stand on cushions.

  • JLPT N4

    Should I take my shoes off?

    A raised floor or slippers at the door means yes.

At shrines and temples

Shrines (神社) are Shinto; you'll know one by its torii gate. Rinse your hands at the water basin by the entrance, then at the main hall: a small offering in the box, two bows, two claps, a short prayer, one more bow.

Temples (お寺) are Buddhist, and there you don't clap — put your hands together quietly instead. Many shrines and temples also offer 御朱印, a hand-written stamp in a special book; hand it over open at a blank page.

Shrines, temples and festivals

Staff and locals are generally delighted to explain, especially when you ask in Japanese.

  • JLPT N3

    Could you show me how to pray properly?

    〜方 = the way of doing. Shrines: two bows, two claps, one bow.

  • JLPT N3

    A goshuin stamp, please.

    Hand over your 御朱印帳 open to a blank page.

  • JLPT N4

    When is the festival?

    Locals love this question; ask at any small shop.

  • JLPT N4

    I'm interested in Japanese culture.

    〜に興味がある takes に, not を. Be specific for better replies.

Try it now · 30 seconds

Your turn. Answer Kiko.

Kiko speaks first. Answer out loud — really out loud — before you peek. Producing it cold is the skill a page can't train.

Welcome to the shrine.

You

Say: “May I take a photo?”

At an onsen

Wash your whole body at the showers, sitting on the stool, and rinse off completely before you get into the bath. The small towel stays out of the water: on your head or at the edge is fine.

Tattoos are still refused at many onsen and sento, though more places now allow them or let you cover a small one with a sticker. Ask at the front desk before you pay, not after you've undressed.

Onsen and sento

The questions worth asking at the front desk.

  • JLPT N3

    How much is the bathing fee?

    Towels are usually rented separately: タオルは別料金.

  • JLPT N3

    Is it OK if I have a tattoo?

    Ask before undressing; many onsen still say no.

  • JLPT N3

    Should I wash my body first?

    Yes — always wash and rinse fully before entering the bath.

When you get it wrong

You will, and it's fine. A quick apology in Japanese is usually met with a smile and a .

  • JLPT N4

    My apologies.

    For a small social slip; すみません works too but is broader.

  • JLPT N4

    Sorry, I didn't know.

    Trailing 〜て softens it; people forgive visitors easily.

Practise it out loud

Reading a phrase and saying it with someone waiting are different things. In these scenes Kiko plays the other person and opens with the line below; you answer out loud, and Kiko marks what to fix without stopping the conversation.

  • Asking about shrine etiquette

    JLPT N4
    Answer Kiko in this scene

  • Asking onsen staff about the baths

    JLPT N4
    Answer Kiko in this scene

  • Buying an omamori at a shrine

    JLPT N3
    Answer Kiko in this scene

  • A regular at the neighbourhood sento

    JLPT N4
    Answer Kiko in this scene

Questions

Do you clap at a Japanese temple?
No. Clapping is for Shinto shrines — two bows, two claps, one bow. At a Buddhist temple, put your hands together quietly and bow.
Can I go to an onsen with tattoos?
It depends on the place. Many onsen and sento still refuse tattoos, while others allow them or let you cover a small one. Ask first: .
Can I take photos at shrines and temples?
Usually outside, often not inside the halls, and signs aren't always there. Ask when in doubt, and never photograph people praying.

Now you know what to say

Here's why it still won't come out — and how to fix that

  • You read the phrase, nod, and forget it by the time you land.

    Review you say out loud

    The phrases you practise come back in spaced review — and you answer by speaking, not by flipping a card.

  • You know the line, but go blank when someone's actually waiting.

    Voice roleplay

    Kiko plays the other person — the waiter, the station staff, the ryokan host — so you say it out loud, with a reply coming back, before it counts.

  • The guide can't tell you what you got wrong.

    Corrections that don't stop you

    Say it wrong and the conversation keeps going. Afterwards, Kiko shows the exact particle or ending to fix.

  • Real people don't follow the script.

    Replies you didn't expect

    Kiko answers in natural Japanese and asks the follow-up questions real staff ask, so the second line doesn't catch you out.

  • Practice feels like a chore you'll drop after a week.

    No streaks, no guilt

    No streaks to lose and no nagging reminders. Ten minutes when you have them, and everything is still there when you come back.

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